


Whatever It Takes

by magicforever39



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Episode: s04e09 Lancelot du Lac, F/M, Female Merlin, Magic Revealed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2018-10-04 22:10:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10291265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicforever39/pseuds/magicforever39
Summary: Arthur and Guinevere have just gotten engaged and at the tournament Arthur held to celebrate, an old friend returns from beyond the grave. Merlyn is overjoyed to see Lancelot again after he’d taken her place as the sacrifice to close the Veil and stop the Dorocha's attacks. She soon grows suspicious, though, as Lancelot proves not to be the man she'd fallen in love with. With Arthur and Guinevere's relationship and happiness on the line, Merlyn must decide how far she willing to go to stop Morgana’s plot and if she's prepared to deal with the consequences of her actions.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This one of two ideas I've had for a magic reveal fic though it's the second one I had, it's the first that I've written down and decided to post. Merlin is one of my favorite TV shows and just lately has become my obsession, enough to the point that I've been working on this story and a couple reworkings of Merlin episodes with a female Merlin in stead of my others. I may choose to post those at some point after some editing. 
> 
> Anyway, a couple notes about this story. It is a female Merlin story set during the season four episode Lancelot du Lac. Most of the events up until this point are canon except for a few. When Uther dies, Arthur doesn't seek out magic to heal him because his father died almost instantly. I am still unsure as to whether I should have Freya and Merlyn be good friends or if Merlyn should have been in love with Frey (male Freya). The last divergence from the canon of previous Seasons, that I an think of right now, is that there was no relationship between Lancelot and Gwen.

Gwen burst into Gaius’s chambers where Gaius and Merlyn were finishing breakfast. “What’s wrong, Gwen?” Gaius asked.

  
“Nothing’s wrong,” Gwen said. She beamed. “Arthur proposed last night.”

  
“Congratulations, my dear,” Gaius said. He hugged her. “If you’ll excuse me, I have some deliveries to make.”

  
“I’m so happy for you,” Merlyn said.

  
Gwen pulled back from her best friend’s hug to look her in the eyes. Despite Merlyn’s best efforts, Gwen could see the grief buried there. And she knew why. A couple weeks after Lancelot sacrificed himself on the Isle of the Blessed, Gwen had tried to get Merlyn to talk about her grief and instead learned her friend had been quietly in love with him for who knew how long, and she still was.

  
“Come on,” Gwen said. “It’s been too long since we’ve spent the day together so I told Arthur you wouldn’t be in today.”

  
Merlyn laughed. “I’m already seeing more days off in the future.”

  
Gwen smiled and they headed to the market in the lower town.

  
At the end of the day, Merlyn turned to Gwen and said, “Congratulations again, Gwen. And thank you.” She knew Gwen had done her best to keep her distracted and away from any thoughts of Lancelot.

  
The next day, Merlyn watched Arthur catch a decorated ring in a practice joust. He road to the royal box where Gwen sat with Agravaine. Gwen accepted the ring with a smile and Arthur rode off the field.

  
“I’ve got to hand it to you. If nothing else, it’s certainly an original engagement present,” Merlyn said. She caught Arthur’s helmet when he tossed it to her and dismounted. “Well, as romantic gestures go, you could’ve given her flowers. You could have had a song written. Instead you’re giving her two days of sweaty men knocking the sense out of each other. Not sure what’s romantic about that.”

  
“Exactly as it should be,” Arthur said. “My father had a tourney before his wedding. It’s tradition.”

  
“Ah, so it’s not even an original gesture, then.”

  
“I think my future wife understands.” Arthur gestured to a smiling Gwen who was accepting a ring from Percival.

  
A new rider took his position. Neither Arthur, nor Merlyn knew who it was. Gwen accepted the ring from him and he took off his helmet to reveal he was Lancelot.

  
Merlyn felt her heart seize. This couldn’t be happening. She’d watched helplessly as Lancelot walked into the veil. There was no coming back from that. As much as she wanted him to truly have returned, she had to be wary.

  
At dinner that night, Arthur asked Lancelot about what happened to him.

  
“I feel I remember very little after the moment I stepped through the veil,” Lancelot said. “My story will not be as illuminating as I would like.”

  
“We’re just pleased to see you,” Arthur said. “Well… pleased and amazed.”

  
“I owe everything to the Madhavi people. When they found me, I was near death. Luckily for me, their customs dictate that they must give food and shelter to the needy.” Lancelot sighed. “And I was certainly that.”

  
Merlyn watched Lancelot. She couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong that she got off her resurrected friend.

  
“Where did they find you?” Leon asked.

  
“On one of the silk road passes, high in the Feorre Mountains. I travelled with them for many weeks, deep into the deserts of the south. Then, slowly, my strength returned. When I was able, I earned my passage the only way I knew how. By the sword. Then I slowly made my way north.”

  
“You made your way home,” Arthur said. He took Gwen’s hand. “We can’t thank you enough for what you sacrificed on the Isle of the Blessed. It will be remembered always.”

  
“It is, indeed, good to see you once again. I would like to propose a toast.” Lancelot stood up. “To Camelot.”

  
“To Camelot,” Arthur and the knights echoed.

  
Since there were no rooms available or ready, Lancelot went with Gaius and Merlyn.

  
“You can have my bed,” Merlyn said, entering her room.

  
“No. No,” Lancelot protested.  
“Really, after all you’ve been through… it’s the least I could do.”

  
“Thank you, Merlyn. It’s good to see you, too.”

  
“I’ve spent so long thinking about… what happened.” Her guilt coated her words. “Could I have saved you? And if there was anything I could have done. If I could have used magic…”

  
“If any of us had any magic, Merlyn…” Lancelot walked past her. “Life would be a lot easier.”

  
Merlyn forced her horror down and smiled. “Good night.” She closed the door behind her.

  
“Oh, no,” Gaius said. “I’ve seen that face before.”

  
“I want to believe that everything is fine. And that we really have Lancelot back.” Merlyn’s voice became thick with her unshed tears.

  
“It certainly looks like him. What is it?”

  
“I don’t know. Something’s wrong.” She sat next to Gaius. “When he was telling his story, I sensed it. The way he greeted me, that made me suspicious. But what happened just now, that’s made me sure. He forgot I had magic. Lancelot would never do that.”

  
“Hmm. Strange indeed,” Gaius said. He’d had his own suspicions based on how Lancelot was acting around Merlyn now and how he looked at her. They weren’t the same as or even close to what they’d been before Samhain.

  
When Merlyn wasn’t attending to Arthur at the joust she was studying The Art of Necromancy. There was only one way she could think of that would bring someone back from the dead. She just had to prove it.

  
Over dinner she decided to run her theory by Gaius. “What do you know about necromancy?”

  
Gaius put his spoon down and gave Merlyn a look. “What?”

  
“Well, you know lots… about lots of things, don’t you?”

  
“Necromancy is the most dangerous of all magical practices. Even in the days of the Old Religion, such sorcery was viewed with the utmost suspicion. I know I’m going to regret asking this, Merlyn, but why do you want to know?”

  
Merlyn looked back at her room where Lancelot was resting. “I think someone has raised Lancelot from the dead.”

  
“By ‘someone,’ you mean ‘Morgana.’ The old legends do speak of such creatures. They call them “shades.” Poor tormented souls summoned from their rest by the necromancer’s art.”

  
“So, it is possible?”

  
“Even it is possible, we have no way of knowing for sure.”

  
Merlyn pulled out the book she’d been studying.

  
“Or do we?” Gaius asked, smiling.

  
In the morning, the two of them hid in the closet as Lancelot left. As the returned knight walked over the spiral Merlyn had painted and enchanted, a skeleton crossed his features. The door closed behind him and Merlyn and Gaius reentered the room.

  
“I didn’t want it to be true,” Merlyn said.

  
“I know,” Gaius said. He knew how his ward felt about the young knight. “We all wanted him back.”

  
“More than anything,” Merlyn whispered.

  
“This man’s a shadow of his former self. A shadow with ill intent.”

  
“Do you think he means to harm Arthur?”

  
“Whatever his reason for being here, it can’t be good.”

  
The finale of the jousting tournament proved the shade wasn’t brought back to kill Arthur. Merlyn decided following ‘Lancelot’ was the only way to figure out what he was up to. She tucked her spell book inn her bag just in case.

  
‘Lancelot’ met with Agravaine on a balcony and Merlyn hovered just outside the door.

  
“Everything is prepared,” ‘Lancelot’ said. “Gwen is on her way to our assignation as we speak.”

  
“You’ve done well. Lady Morgana will be very pleased with you.”

  
Merlyn stepped back into the shadows. She was shaking both in anger and with the effort of keeping her magic reined in.

  
She caught up with the shade in a hall by the council chambers. She threw him forward with a blast of magic. The spell to hopefully release him from Morgana’s control and return him to his rest was ready to go. Only he wasn’t unconscious like she thought.  
The shade Lancelot swept her legs out from under her and knocked her out with the pommel.

  
When she came to, Merlyn ignored the stickiness on the side of her face and sprinted to the council chambers. Agravaine was nowhere to be seen, which was a small mercy. Inside, she skidded to a halt between ‘Lancelot’ and a charging Arthur. “Stop!”

  
Arthur did so, in shock more than anything. “What are you doing?” he asked incensed.

  
“I’m sorry. I will not let Morgana tear you and Gwen apart. There’s a love spell on the bracelet Gwen is wearing. She told me ages ago that she wasn’t and hadn’t been in love with Lancelot. And that isn’t Lancelot.”

  
‘Lancelot’ scoffed but Gwen had enough presence of mind to rip the bracelet off her arm and it rolled to a stop by Merlyn’s feet. Gwen scrambled back staring at ‘Lancelot’ in horror. She moved to Arthur’s side.

  
“Who are you?” Gwen asked. “Why would you do this?” She saw the blood on Merlyn’s face. “What happened, Merlyn?”

  
“He hit me, to stop me from stopping him.”

  
Arthur narrowed his eyes at ‘Lancelot’ clearly buying that the man standing there wasn’t the real knight. Merlyn could see his hesitance at believing in the love spell, though.

  
She steeled herself and said, “You’ll probably hate me for this and I understand. I’m sorry, but I can prove there’s a love spell on this bracelet.”

  
She bent down and used her neckerchief to pick up the bracelet. She stood, and with her free hand, pulled out her magic book and opened it to the spell of revelation page. Under the spell was a list of colours for various enchantments the spell would reveal.

  
“This is what I’m doing,” Merlyn said, passing the book to Arthur. “Hierste þæt íecen sóna.” The bracelet glowed a pale pink as her eyes flashed gold.

  
The bracelet fell from her hand when she spun towards the shade who was coming at them, sword raised. Merlyn flung out a hand and cried, “Ecg misse!” His sword went flying out of his hand.

  
Merlyn looked over at Arthur. “I know I have no right to ask anything of you, but would you allow me to try to free Lancelot from this spell? Afterwards you can do with me what you will.”

  
Arthur jerked his head in acquiescence and Merlyn turned back to the shade. “Grið fæstne mid þisse tintregian sawle,” she breathed.

  
Lancelot fell like a marionette whose strings had been cut. Arthur checked to see if he had a pulse. “He’s still alive.”

  
Merlyn shrugged. “I don’t know exactly what was supposed to happen. When he wakes ask him about something Morgana wouldn’t have known. It’s how I first knew he wasn’t himself.”

  
She kept her eyes on the ground until a groan came from where Lancelot lay. Her eyes flicked over and she saw him slowly sit up holding his head. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Arthur’s sword move to point at Lancelot, from where she wasn’t sure.

  
“Before you left first Camelot, we spoke in the dungeons,” Arthur said. “Why did I say I was sorry?”

  
Lancelot looked confused for a moment before it was replaced with relief and understanding. “Because even though I didn’t look or sound like a knight, I fought like one.”

  
“How?” Arthur asked. “How is this possible, Merlyn?”

  
She flinched at his tone and lowered her eyes again. “I don’t know. As far as I know, the spell was to bring him peace. I thought it would just break Morgana’s control and end the spell. I didn’t expect…”

  
Merlyn could feel Lancelot’s gaze on her. She refused to look in his direction, terrified of what she’d see there. She did glance up at the sound of approaching footsteps and saw Agravaine approaching with a trio of guards. She finally dared to sneak a look at Arthur and immediately looked away when she saw the betrayal on his face. She didn’t lower them though. She wanted to see what Agravaine did.

  
“Thank you for bringing guards back with you, Uncle,” Arthur said.

  
“Of course, my lord,” Agravaine said, his smug tone grating on Merlyn’s nerves. He gestured the guards towards Gwen and Lancelot.

  
Arthur held up a hand to stop them. “No need. I’ve realized both Guinevere and Sir Lancelot have been unwilling victims of manipulation.”

  
“I’m afraid I do not understand, Sire.”

  
“I’m not an idiot. I could see they were both acting out of character the past few days. Especially Lancelot. You see it’s the little things that make all the difference. I do have some good news. I believe I know who the traitor is.”


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing Lancelot realized was he was freezing. Then he found out why. He was naked and standing waist deep in a lake. And Morgana was standing right in front of him.

Lancelot took a step backwards, a hand going for a nonexistent sword. Only he didn’t. Instead he bowed and said, “My name is Lancelot, my lady. I am yours to command.”

Well, this was great. It seemed he had no control over what he said or did and Morgana was involved. This couldn’t be any worse.

He spoke too soon.

He woke up, having apparently fallen asleep sitting up, to see Morgana watching him.

“You must be tired,” she said. “You’ve been on a journey few have ever dreamed of.”

“I know not where I have been, my lady, only that I am yours.” Lancelot saw a sword on the bedside table and decided to go for it. To his surprise, his body responded to him this time.

Morgana stopped him saying, “Slow down. You won’t be needing that. Not yet. We have work to do, but it’s not your sword I require so much as your heart.”

This confused Lancelot. He didn’t see what Morgana could have planned involving him and Merlyn or how she even knew. As Morgana talked about Gwen he started to gain an understanding.

“Before she was Arthur’s she was yours, Lancelot. You were her first love. And you will be her last.”

Lancelot laughed. Clearly Morgana didn’t know Gwen hadn’t ever been in love with him. They’d cleared the air back in Hengist’s Castle and determined they were just good friends. Gwen had admitted being attracted to him when they first met, but clearly had his eyes on another, just as she did.

Morgana proceeded to teach Lancelot about his past so he wouldn’t arouse suspicion. He was disturbed by how much she knew about his time as a knight despite not being in Camelot at the time. He wondered who could be feeding her information within the citadel.

Fortunately, there were several instances she didn’t know about. Meeting Percival and the other knights, the events in Hengist’s Castle and most importantly, most of his interactions with Merlyn. In particular, she had no idea about the one thing that if he didn’t know, Merlyn would be instantly suspicious.

The next day he rode in the jousting tournament to celebrate Arthur and Gwen’s engagement. When he presented Gwen with the ring and removed his helmet he wasn’t surprised to see the pure shock cross her face. Her eyes glanced to where he’d seen Arthur and Merlyn standing. He turned that way and flinched at the warring emotions in Merlyn’s eyes. The pain, guilt, hope, and wariness shone in her eyes. And it was his fault. Though, in retrospect, the blame could be laid at Morgana’s feet. After all, she was the one who both brought him back and opened the Veil.

“You can have my bed,” Merlyn said, leading the way into her room after dinner.

“No. No.” _No? That’s the best protest you can make?_

“Really, after all you’ve been through… it’s the least I could do.”

_Are you trying to guilt trip me, Merlyn? If this really was me, it wouldn’t work but he’s Morgana’s puppet and doesn’t know shit._

“Thank you, Merlyn. It’s good to see you, too.” Lancelot sputtered in the corner of his mind. _What kind of greeting was that?_

As much as he hoped Merlyn would find something wrong with how he spoke, it seemed she was too overwhelmed to notice, at least outwardly.

“I’ve spent so long thinking about… what happened. Could I have saved you? And if there was anything I could have done. If I could have used magic…”

Despite his sorrow and the pain in Merlyn’s voice, Lancelot was elated by her final words. She finally brought up a subject the puppet would have no proper answer to and Merlyn would know the truth about his return.

“If any of us had any magic, Merlyn, life would be a lot easier.”

Lancelot watched the changes in her body language and cheered. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too long before she figured out what was going on. He’d rather not be forced to watch helplessly as he was a pawn in Morgana’s plan.

Every time Gwen came into his tent, Lancelot hated Morgana and Agravaine more and more. Whenever he couldn’t regain control, which was every bloody time, he’d release a litany of swears that weren’t befitting of a knight. They would make Gwaine proud though, and if any one heard and looked at him askance, that’s who he’d blame without hesitation.

He headed to report to the traitor. He wasn’t going to dignify him by referring to him by name or title, the fact he was a lord and Arthur’s uncle be damned. Knowing Merlyn would be following him, he allowed himself a small smile. It was a brief meeting but informative to any eavesdroppers.

Lancelot made his way to the council chambers and was almost there when he flew forward. His celebration was cut short by the realization he wasn’t unconscious. He flinched when he knocked Merlyn off her feet and positively panicked when he drew his sword. Lancelot fought this hardest and while he kept himself from stabbing her, he still ended up knocking her out.

When Gwen was kissing him, Lancelot returned to cursing Morgana. He hadn’t been able to regain control and was forced to watch helpless as Gwen apparently had an affair with him.

At Arthur’s yell, he and Gwen separated and Lancelot redrew his sword. Any fight the two of them were going to have was stopped by Merlyn running in and crying out. Lancelot took advantage of the surprise and managed to win just enough control to keep himself in place.

“What are you doing?” Arthur demanded.

Lancelot smirked as Merlyn’s explanation woke Gwen up enough that she could remove the bracelet. It was replaced by horror when he saw the blood coating the side of Merlyn’s face. The only small consolation was that it made Arthur believe that Lancelot wasn’t in control of himself.

“You’ll probably hate me for this and I understand,” Merlyn said. “I’m sorry but I can prove there’s a love spell on this bracelet.”

Briefly Lancelot wondered if his terror was visible on his face. He ignored the thought in favor of pleading with Merlyn not to reveal her magic to Arthur. It soon changed to asking Arthur and Gwen to not overreact or hurt Merlyn. If there were a few threats in there towards Arthur, well... no one would know. He watched with fear and fascination as Merlyn performed a spell on the bracelet and her eyes lit up a brilliant gold.

His distraction caused his tenuous control to break. The shade charged forward, but before he could cross half the distance, Merlyn had dropped the bracelet and turned to him. A couple words and a flash of her eyes sent his sword spinning out of his hand. Lancelot dimly wondered if Arthur would connect that to all the odd occurrences that happened whenever Merlyn was there during a bandit attack.

He watched as Merlyn, rightly keeping a hand raised toward him, turned to Arthur and said, “I know I have no right to ask anything of you, but would you allow me to try and free Lancelot from this spell? Afterwards you can do with me what you will.”

Lancelot protested silently, _You do have a right. Merlyn, and if Arthur can’t see how much you’ve done for him and Camelot when it would’ve been easier and safer for you to never have set foot here, then he’s not the man either of us thought he was._  

He couldn’t get a read on Arthur’s emotions but was grateful when he nodded to Merlyn. His last sight was Merlyn’s eyes turning gold with a few whispered words before the darkness took him.

Awareness came back to him and he cursed before he realized it was different this time. He was actually in control. He sat up with a groan and held his head to stave off a headache.

“Before you left Camelot the first time we spoke in the dungeon,” Arthur said, his word pointing at Lancelot. “Why did I say I was sorry?”

 _Why would he-? Of course. Morgana and Agravaine wouldn’t know about that._ He sighed in relief. “Because even though I didn’t look or sound like a knight, I fought like one.”

“How is this possible, Merlyn?”

“I don’t know. As far as I know, the spell was to bring him peace. I thought it would just break Morgana’s control and end the spell.” The fear in her voice set Lancelot’s teeth on edge.

He was grateful for Arthur preventing Gwen’s arrest when Agravaine reappeared with the guards. She hadn’t done anything wrong of her own volition. If Arthur arrested Merlyn, his own wouldn’t be far behind. After all, it was illegal to hide the existence of a sorcerer and he wasn’t going to keep quiet about knowing. Though if he and Merlyn were going down, he’d make damn sure Agravaine went with them. Lancelot watched Arthur to see who he’d name as the traitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I didn't really expect the response that this story got. This chapter's a little short than I would perhaps have liked but it seemed like a good place to stop and I couldn't resist playing with Lancelot's point of view and looking at how he felt about being turned into Morgana's puppet. 
> 
> I've decided that I will post the next chapter either after I have the next one written or if it's been over a week since I've updated but the next chapter isn't completely finished. Unfortunately Arthur is being uncooperative so the next chapter isn't ready yet. But hopefully it shouldn't be too much longer since it's almost done.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on getting this chapter out. I got busy with my last couple months of college and Arthur was being uncooperative. I wanted his reactions to be more realistic than automatically hating or forgiving Merlyn. I hope I did it justice.

Arthur’s mind was reeling. Just the other day Sir Lancelot had returned from the dead. Everyone was glad to have him with them again but Arthur couldn’t help but be suspicious. Lancelot hadn’t seemed the type to announce his return by anonymously entering a tournament. Plus, his interactions with Merlyn were all wrong. Gone were the looks suggesting they were in on something no one else was and gone was the way he looked at her when she wasn’t paying attention. He’d soon realized the man claiming to be Lancelot wasn’t really.

Then Agravaine had to wake him up at some godforsaken time of night and insist he come see something in the council chambers. When he saw Gwen and ‘Lancelot’ kissing, all logic went out the window. Merlyn’s arrival restarted his thought processes, that is until she handed him a book of magic and proceeded to do magic. He dropped her book in shock but it quickly gave way to fury. The voice in his head, which sounded just like his father, was telling him to execute her immediately, she was an evil sorceress, she could have enchanted him, and so on.

A second voice pointed out flaws in his father’s logic. If she was evil, why would she knowingly sacrifice her life to save his relationship with Guinevere/ if she truly wanted him dead, why did she save his life in the first place or why didn’t she take advantage of her position as his servant to kill him? If her goal was to become queen, she certainly wouldn’t have been as supportive of he and Guinevere and why didn’t Merlyn put him under a love spell. Why didn’t she enchant him so he’d repeal the anti-magic laws? Why did she never initiate a conversation about magic not being evil?

  
The real kicker was her second spell that relieved the fake Lancelot of his sword. How many times had bandits lost their swords in the same way, tripped over thin air, or branches conveniently fall on their heads if they were sneaking up on him or one of the knights?

So, when she asked permission to try to free Lancelot, he agreed, albeit a little reluctantly due to his father still ranting about the evils of magic in the back of his head. Uther was slightly muted though. He agreed because if there was a way to free Lancelot from Morgana’s spell without Arthur having to run him through, he was all for it. For all that he didn’t act like Lancelot, he still looked just like the fallen knight.

Arthur wasn’t entirely sure what prompted his actions, but while Merlyn was distracted with her spell, he whispered in Gwen’s ear, “Hide the book.” Maybe it was the fear and resignation in Merlyn’s eyes or her willingness to trade her life to save a friend. Either way, Arthur didn’t want Agravaine seeing it whenever he returned.

Gwen must have had the same thoughts because without hesitation she closed the book and then stepped forward so it was hidden under her skirt.

Arthur found himself both worried and glad ‘Lancelot’ was still alive. He wondered what Merlyn had asked or mentioned to ‘Lancelot’ to make her suspicious. He believed it had something to do with her magic though. When ‘Lancelot’ sat up he brought his sword up so it pointed at the false knight instead of the ground.

“Before you first left Camelot, we spoke in the dungeons,” Arthur said. The two of them had been the only ones in the area at the time and he knew Morgana was elsewhere in the castle. “Why did I say I was sorry?”

Lancelot’s answer was what he was expecting and Arthur turned back to Merlyn. “How? How is this possible, Merlyn?”

She admitted she didn’t know and explained what she thought the spell would do.

The young king turned at the sound of footsteps. He saw his uncle approaching in time to see his confusion and anger at Merlyn’s presence and how Arthur’s sword was pointing at the floor, clean of blood. He looked at Merlyn who was staring at Agravaine, a challenge in her eyes. He didn’t understand why and thought back.

Merlyn’s presence there made sense. If she’d had any suspicions about Lancelot not being himself, she’d follow him to find proof. She had an uncanny ability to show up whenever something major was going on. Most of the time.

But how did Agravaine know? If he’d heard about the rendezvous beforehand he would have told Arthur about it then so they could set a trap. He couldn’t have seen Gwen and Lancelot in the council chambers. Agravaine wouldn’t have had time to travel all the way to Arthur’s chambers, wake him up, allow him to grab his shirt, shoes, and sword, and get back. The two of them hadn’t been there long when they’d arrived.

And they still hadn’t found the traitor. Arthur trusted all his knights with his life and all of them had good reasons to hate Morgana. Gaius had been proven innocent. Arthur still couldn’t believe he’d been suspicious of the old physician and he still felt guilty about the torture Gaius had received at the hands of Morgana or one of her underlings.

Merlyn… she hadn’t even known about their route through the Valley of the Kings and she’ gotten injured in the fight. When she’d shown back up, she was healed but wasn’t herself. She was stiff, formal, and prone to fits of anger. Arthur wondered then if she’d been enchanted. After she disappeared for a couple days, probably not to the tavern like Gaius said, she’d been back to her usual snarky self.

The part of him that believed everything his father did was right cried that Merlyn was an evil traitor. Arthur squashed that voice. For the most part, he’d come to realize not all his father’s actions were right and many certainly weren’t just. Besides, Merlyn had followed him into almost every dangerous situation he’d been in since she’d arrived in Camelot and without armor. He wasn’t going to say without protection because she’d have her magic for that. So, because of her past actions she’d get a chance to explain herself.

But Agravaine was the only one who knew the route and hadn’t been cleared. In fact, he’d quickly dissuaded Arthur from thinking he was the traitor and pointed him to Gaius instead.

Arthur was sure his betrayal was written all over his face. Hopefully, Agravaine would believe it was due to the ‘infidelity’ of his future wife.

“Thank you for bring guards with you, Uncle,” Arthur said.

“Of course, my lord.”

Arthur held up a hand to stop the guards from arresting Lancelot and Guinevere under Agravaine’s orders. “No need. I’ve realized that Sir Lancelot and Guinevere have been unwilling victims of manipulation.”

“I’m afraid I do not understand, Sire.”

“I’m not an idiot. I could see they were both acting out of character the past few days. Especially Lancelot. You see it’s the little things that make all the difference. I do have some good news. I believe I know who the traitor is.”

Agravaine turned to Merlyn and Arthur scoffed. “Are you trying to suggest Merlyn is working for Morgana? She didn’t even know we would take the route through the Valley of the Kings.”

“I know, Sire, but how do you explain her being uninjured when she returned? We all knew she was injured in the fight.”

“Probably so Morgana could enchant her. Merlyn wasn’t herself when she got back and I believe Gaius and Guinevere managed to return her to normal.” Arthur stared down his uncle.

“Tell me, Agravaine, what happened to you never betraying me because you’d be betraying my mother, your sister?”

“Arthur, I-”

“Oh, drop the act,” Lancelot snapped. “You’re the one who gave me the bracelet from

Morgana and would deliver my reports to her. I’ll happily testify to that.”

“You can’t possibly believe this, Arthur. He’s clearly in love with Guinevere and wants to stop your wedding.”

Lancelot snorted. “I’m not in love with Gwen.”

“And I’m not in love with Lancelot,” Gwen said. “Arthur knows it too. I told him ages ago.”

Arthur nodded in agreement. He gestured for two of the guards to grab Agravaine. “Lord Agravaine, you are under arrest for high treason. Take him to the dungeons.”

Agravaine’s whole demeanor shifted. “You are your father’s son. Morgana will restore this land.”

“I’ve never intended to rule as my father did.” Arthur instructed the guards to take his uncle to a cell and handed the third guard the bracelet wrapped in Merlyn’s neckerchief. He ordered him to lock it in the vaults and not to touch it.

Once they were alone again, Arthur turned so he could see everyone. Guinevere was concerned for his welfare after everything that happened that night and she also seemed scared. Lancelot, who still hadn’t stood up, was pale and seemed terrified for Merlyn. He was grateful for the guards not being ordered to take her away but he also appeared prepared to protect her however he could.

Arthur studied his maidservant for a moment. The challenge that had been in her eyes when she stared Agravaine down was gone as was the almost ever-present fire in her eyes. She was, to his surprise, ready and willing to accept whatever judgement he would deal out. She probably thought she’d be sentenced to an immediate execution. The fear in her eyes wasn’t for herself. Thinking about it, Arthur figured out she was afraid for Gaius and Lancelot. If either one of them didn’t know about her magic he’d eat his crown. She lived with Gaius and the physician practiced magic before the Purge. Lancelot and Merlyn would always exchange knowing looks and pair up whenever they all split up. And they’d clearly never acted on their feelings for each other.

“Merlyn, because for some reason you’ve followed me into impossible situations and have saved my life a couple of times, you’ll get a chance to explain in private. But not until morning. It’s too late right now and the rest of the Round Table knights and Gaius should be there.

Merlyn stared at him, blue eyes wide in shock. Arthur felt a stab of guilt at the idea that he would hurt her. She may be a sorceress, but he couldn’t get rid of the image of his bumbling maidservant who had rare moments of wisdom and would tell him what he needed to hear even if he didn’t want to.

“How did you know for sure Lancelot wasn’t himself?” Arthur asked.

“I enchanted a sigil I painted on the ground so when he walked over it, it revealed him as a Shade.”

“Is it still there?” Lancelot asked.

Merlyn nodded. “I didn’t want to get rid of it until I knew it wouldn’t be needed.”

“Let’s go then,” Arthur said. He bade Guinevere goodnight.

She said she’d speak to Cook in the morning and have someone bring his breakfast up and tell the knights about the meeting.

Arthur looked over to see Merlyn helping a shaky Lancelot to his feet. Lancelot gave her hand a reassuring and comforting squeeze. That simple gesture told Arthur the knight was back. It also brought up the question of what did Merlyn do and what was she capable of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to be able to get the next chapter up in the next week or so. If not it won't be up until around August as I'll be on holiday visiting family for most of July and won't have internet. I will try to work on this and some of my other stories while I'm away though.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the wait. I got distracted and also had a hard time what and how much to have Merlyn explain. I think I managed it alright.

Gaius dragged his gaze away from his closed door. Arthur had just left after arriving with Merlyn and ‘Lancelot’. At first, he thought his eyes were deceiving him because the young king looked at the sigil on the floor as though he knew exactly what it was and when Lancelot deliberately stepped on the sigil, Arthur nodded at the surprising, to Gaius at least, sight of no change.

“Gaius, there’s a meeting after breakfast tomorrow in my private audience chamber,” Arthur said. “I’d like for you to be there. Merlyn will be there too and is excused from her duties tomorrow.”

Gaius nodded in confirmation and Arthur put a book down on a table as he left.

“What happened, Merlyn?” Gaius asked, once the door was shut.

Two words were all it took for him to turn almost as pale as Merlyn and sit down hard on the nearby bench. “He knows,” was all Merlyn said.

“What happened tonight?”

Merlyn didn’t seem inclined to answer so Lancelot did his best to explain recent events, including everything he knew about from before the confrontation in the council chambers. As he spoke, he gently cleaned the dried blood from her face. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Gaius relaxing around him.

“You both should get some sleep,” Gaius said. “It’s been a long night and tomorrow will be longer.”

Lancelot nodded. “Come on, Merlyn. If you think I’m going to let you give up your room, you’re mistaken.”

Merlyn didn’t respond, so Lancelot helped her up the stairs. He had a hand on the door to leave when a quiet voice stopped him.

“I’m sorry. I could have done something, should have done something. It’s my fault. I’m sorry.”

Lancelot felt his heart break. He cupped her face in his hands and tilted it up slightly, so she was looking at him. Merlyn brought a hand up and held his wrist. He first thought she was going to move him away but then saw her grip allowed her to feel his pulse beat reassuringly under her fingers.

“Listen to me, Merlyn. It wasn’t your fault. None of it was. It was my choice to walk through the Veil. There was no way closing it with magic and I wasn’t going to let you sacrifice yourself.”

He decided he’d leave out how he would make the same decision again and how he’d sooner die than see her die.

The dam finally broke and she collapsed against him, sobbing. Lancelot sat Merlyn down on her bed and took a seat next to her. He stroked her hair and murmured comforting words.

When Merlyn fell asleep, Lancelot pulled her blanket up around her shoulders. He softly closed the door behind him and rejoined Gaius downstairs.

“How’s she been?” Lancelot asked.

“She’ll get quiet some days, but not as bad as when they got back from the Isle of the Blessed. We hardly saw her and when we did she barely spoke. Gwen spoke with her one day and afterward she tried to be herself.” He gave Lancelot a look. “And how are you doing?”

“A little worried. Arthur seemed to take the news alright, but he was also dealing with Agravaine’s betrayal.”

Gaius raised an eyebrow. Lancelot knew he didn’t answer the question the physician was asking. He just wasn’t sure how he was handling returning from the dead.

After breakfast, which Merlyn barely touched, the three of them made their way to Arthur’s private audience chamber. Outside the door they met up with Gwaine and Percival.

“You feeling alright, Merlyn?” Percival asked. He’d noticed her grey pallor.

Merlyn gave a noncommittal jerk of her head. The other two knights saw Lancelot move closer to her in a sign of support.

“Shall we see what the princess wants so early in the morning?” Gwaine asked. They didn’t have time to figure out what was wrong with Merlyn, but he and Percival made a silent pact to find out by the end of the day. Gwaine did wonder if it had anything to do with Lancelot’s change to being himself again.

“What did you want to talk to us about, Sire?” Leon asked, once the door was shut.

“Merlyn,” Arthur said. His tone didn’t give away whether Merlyn was what they were talking about or if she asked for the meeting.

She swallowed and said, “ _Fromum feohgiftum on fæder bearme. Fromum feohgiftum._ ” A blue-white orb of light drifted up from her outstretched hand as her eyes burned gold. She figured doing a harmless spell would be the easiest way to explain.

The knights stared in shock, wonder or a combination of both.

“I’ve seen that before, in the forest of Balor,” Arthur said.

“I don’t think I’ve been there,” Merlyn said. She let the light fade away.

“It couldn’t have been you anyway. It was while I was searching for the Morteus flower.”

Merlyn’s skin gained a green tinge and Leon and Gwen flinched in remembrance. Lancelot, Gwaine, Percival and Elyan were confused having not been in Camelot at the time.

Gaius cleared his throat. “Actually, it was Merlyn.”

Her head snapped around to stare at her uncle. “How? I can’t have.” She lost any remaining color and her breathing became erratic.

“Help me sit her down, please Lancelot,” Gaius said. Together they sat Merlyn down on one of the chairs. The physician coached her through getting her breathing back to normal as Lancelot rubbed soothing circles on her back.

“Why did Merlyn start having a panic attack over having done a spell before that she just did?” Gwaine asked.

“Because at the time I was in the forest, she was in Gaius’s chambers dying from poison,” Arthur said. “Though something doesn’t fit with everything that happened.”

Gwen nodded in agreement. “Some things don’t add up.”

“We’ll ask Merlyn when she’s calmed down,” Arthur said. “You’re all taking the news calmly.”

Percival shrugged. “After my family was killed I lived with druids for a while.”

“I travelled all over and Camelot is the only place where magic is so despised,” Elyan said. “It’s not accepted everywhere, but they don’t give out death sentences for everything. I didn’t expect Merlyn to have magic though.”

“Likewise,” Gwaine said. “However, I did suspect she had magic. She never told me, but fires don’t conveniently start in slave trader’s castles at the right time for an escape.”

Arthur remembered the event and how he’d brushed it off in favor of getting out and finding the Cup of Life. He turned to his First Knight who’d had more experience with Uther’s laws than the others.

“I suspected,” Leon said. “Bandits have terrible luck only when Merlyn is with us. I never said anything to hurt Camelot, and it is Merlyn. How did you find out, Sire?”

Arthur, with help from Gwen, explained the events of the previous night. They were understandably furious with Agravaine’s betrayal. Elyan seemed to be resisting the temptation to go down to the cells and have ‘words’ with him over his part in using Gwen and trying to destroy her reputation and happiness.

“I’m sure Lancelot has known about Merlyn’s magic, but I don’t know for how long,” Arthur said. They were discussing how Merlyn suspected Lancelot wasn’t himself.

“I’ve known since she killed the griffin,” Lancelot spoke up.

“You killed the griffin,” Merlyn said. She sat up. “All I did was enchant your weapon. You did the rest.”

“I couldn’t have done it without your help.”

“Is that why you wouldn’t take the knighthood?” Arthur asked. He sat down and everyone else followed.

“Yes, I didn’t feel it was right to take credit for something I didn’t do.”

Gwen caught Merlyn rolling her eyes and giggled. “Are you feeling better, Merlyn?”

“A little. I didn’t expect to learn that. So, what did you want to know?”

“When you started using magic is a good place to start,” Arthur said.

“Well, I’m not going through my entire childhood, because according to my mother I was moving objects with magic before I could talk.”

“You were born with magic?” Leon asked. “I didn’t know that was possible.”

“Merlyn is the only one of her kind,” Gaius said.

Merlyn shifted under the stares.

“Why would you come to Camelot?” Arthur asked. “Ealdor is in Escettir and magic is legal there.”

“But it isn’t accepted,” Merlyn said. “Especially so close to the border. Bounty hunters cross over, and Uther had sent men over at least once.” She leant back.” My mother sent me here because I needed to learn control. Though control wasn’t my issue.”

“What was it?” Elyan asked.

Merlyn thought for a moment. “I suppose the easiest way to explain is with a river. If you put a dam in a river and don’t let any water through pressure will build up. Any kind of shock to the dam could cause the pressure to be released suddenly and uncontrollably. But if a little is bled off often, it won’t explode out.”

“So, in terms of your magic,” Arthur asked, “what does it mean for you?”

“Since I’ve come to Camelot I’ve had to use my magic more. I only use it for chores when I need to bleed some off. I can usually tell when my magic wants to escape because I can feel it bubbling under my skin. Back home I’d keep it bottled up tight. My mother sent me here after I accidently felled a tree in anger. It didn’t help that my friend Will had followed me to see if I was alright.”

“What happened?” Lancelot asked at the same time Arthur asked, “Has that sort of thing happened here?”

Merlyn gave Arthur an incredulous look. “I’ve never gotten that angry because no one here has insulted my mother.”

“Why would someone insult Hunith?” Gwen asked. “She’s a lovely woman.”

“She is, but my father was forced to leave before they could be married. He didn’t know she was pregnant until I told him. Anyway, you can imagine what the villagers would say.”

“Why did your father have to leave?” Percival asked.

“You’ve never really mentioned him before,” Arthur said.

Merlyn shifted in her seat. “For the longest time I didn’t know who he was and when I knew it was too dangerous to tell people. Uther had once sent men after him, which is why he left my mother. If Uther learned who my father is, he’d have me arrested in a heartbeat.”

Everyone looked at her waiting for her to say who her father was. She took a deep breath. The only person she’d told about who her father was, was Balinor himself. “My father is Balinor.”

Arthur choked. He remembered what he told Merlyn, ‘No man is worth your tears.’ HE stared at Merlyn guiltily. “I said-”

“You didn’t know,” Merlyn said.

Arthur’s protest died on his lips. The look on Merlyn’s face told him in no uncertain terms that he was forgiven. He resolved to talk to her later though.

“So, what have you gotten up to in Camelot?” Elyan asked.

“And please start from the beginning,” Gwaine said, grinning. “All the talk of griffins and poisonings confused those of us who weren’t here.”

Merlyn looked at the four who just learned of her magic that morning, but they didn’t seem angry or hurt. Gwaine even seemed smug. Percival, Elyan and Leon gave the same explanations they just gave Arthur.

“I knew,” Gwaine said. “Flying objects and convenient fires gave it away. I also heard the little man on the bridge call you Magic.”

Arthur’s head thudded into his hands, the conversation he had with Grettir coming back to him. He hadn’t understood into until now, but the two things he’d need to complete his quest, Strength and Magic, turned out to be Gwaine and Merlyn without whom he would have been a wyvern’s dinner.

“So, was your first day in Camelot interesting?” Percival asked.

“And how you did you meet Arthur?” Gwaine asked.

“I arrived in time to see a man called Thomas Collins executed for sorcery and his mother swearing revenge.”

Leon grimaced. “I remember that. It’s not something you would have wanted to see when you first arrive.”

Merlyn nodded. “When I got to Gaius’s chambers after getting directions from Leon, I saved his life after the upstairs railing behind him gave way. The next day after I finished doing delivers for him I came across Arthur being an absolute prat. I tried politely to get him to leave the servant alone, but he was rude, so I called him an ass, slapped him and left.”

Gwaine practically fell out of his chair laughing. Arthur glared at him and said, “Looking back I was a prat.” He realized what made him change.

Merlyn shrugged. “I didn’t know who you were until Leon told me a little while later. I met Gwen in the market the next day and that night I snuck down to the cavern under the dungeons because I was tired of being kept up all night.”

“Why would you go down there?” Lancelot asked.

“Gaius had told me that the Great Dragon was kept there. He was the only one who might be mentally call my name every night since I arrived.”

“You spoke to it?” Arthur asked.

“Several times. Kilgharrah can be annoyingly cryptic.” Merlyn made a face. She continued to keep questions about their conversations to a minimum. She didn’t understand all the talk about her and Arthur’s destiny and knew Arthur wasn’t ready to hear about it. He’d had too many shocks recently.

Merlyn explained about the feast, saving Arthur’s life and her ‘reward’ of being appointed his maidservant. She spoke about Valiant, his shield and learning the spell she used to animate the snakes during his match with Arthur.

“You were telling the truth when you burst into the council meeting. Do you have a death wish?” Leon asked Merlyn.

She was being hugged by Gwen having just said she’d healed her and Elyan’s father from the plague. “I wasn’t going to let Gwen be killed for my actions.” She finished by explaining how she’d summoned a wind to mix with Arthur’s torch to kill the afanc.

“Who created the afanc?” Elyan asked.

“Nimueh, one of the High Priestesses of the Old Religion,” Gaius said.

Merlyn snorted. “Well, that explains it. She must have been furious with me for helping stop her plague.”

She explained how Bayard’s servant, Cara, who she’d given directions to earlier, had pulled her out of the hall to tell her about the poisoned goblet. Gwen cut in saying, “It doesn’t make sense though. She was the one who poisoned it so why would she tell you about it? And who was she? Gaius had said Cara wasn’t her real name.”

“It wasn’t meant for me, was it?” Arthur said. “As Guinevere said, who say the chalice was poisoned if you were the one who did it? It couldn’t have been to frame Bayard since everyone knew the chalice was from him. Also, a servant accusing a lord of trying to poison royalty would get the same reaction from my father or any like-minded sovereigns. The servant would drink or eat the poison to see if they were telling the truth.”

“Who’d want to kill you then, Merlyn?” Gwaine asked.

“It was Nimueh, wasn’t it?” Lancelot said. He remembered her earlier comment.

She nodded. “She confirmed it when we met eventually.” She looked to Lancelot. “What you saved me from the griffin it was my first day allowed outside the castle.”

Merlyn briefly summarized the events of the griffin, having already talked about it, and continued to talk about Sophia and her father, Edwin and the wraith of Tristan du Bois. Will’s death was hard for her since he was her only friend growing up and his last words were to say he loved her after taking the blame for the windstorm and telling her she’d be servant to a great king.

Arthur was shocked to learn Morgana had long hated Uther, he never expected her to ally with someone like Tauren, at least back then.

“Please don’t go back to the Isle of the Blessed,” Lancelot said. She had just gotten to her first trip there with the intention of sacrificing herself. It brought back the events of the Dorocha.

Merlyn grimaced. She knew what going through his head and could tell Arthur was thinking along the same lines. She wasn’t sure if he knew outright she planned on taking his place the whole time or if it was a suggestion to save him from dying.

“So, does the Old Religion decide who lives and who dies or did Nimueh?” Percival asked after Merlyn finished describing her encounter with the priestess.

Merlyn thought for a moment. “I don’t really understand the Old Religion, but I do know it doesn’t care who lives and dies, for the most part, as long as the balance is kept. For a life to be given it must come from somewhere. You can’t create a life out of nothing. However, I do think Nimueh chose my mother and Gaius to be her sacrifices. She couldn’t kill, why she didn’t say, but she still hated me, so she wanted to cause me as much pain as she could.”

Arthur’s eyes narrowed. “It wasn’t an illusion, was it?”

“I don’t think so, at least not entirely. I said that because if you’d gone through with it, you would never have forgiven yourself.”

“Was it my father’s fault?” Arthur asked. He understood Merlyn’s decision and wasn’t angry at her. “Or mine?”

“No. they may not have fully understood the situation or the consequences. I doubt Nimueh made the decision. I could be wrong, but she had a high position in court at the time.”

Leon and Gaius were the only two who knew what was being talked about. They kept the others from asking. It was a situation not to be spoken of outside of the five, now four, who were there.

For the most part, Merlyn found it easier to tell of her other adventures in Camelot. Some things weren’t so easy though. Freya’s death was hard because she was her first female friend who truly understood what she was going through, actually, first friend to do so because even Lancelot didn’t know what it was like living with magic. It took a while to convince Arthur that it wasn’t his fault and she didn’t blame him since he didn’t know and was just trying to protect his people. Of course, the roles were reversed when it came to talking about the Knights of Medhir, poisoning Morgana and the release of Kilgharrah. Circumstances had forced her hand and any of them would’ve down the same in her shoes, it just took a while for them to get her to realize and accept that. Arthur was slightly annoyed about the dragon still being alive until Merlyn explained the ramifications of the last dragon being killed.

Dragoon was an interesting conversation especially to the embarrassment of Leon, Percival, Elyan and Gwaine since they’d been easily taken out by what appeared to be an old man. The fact it was Merlyn in disguise made it a little easier to deal with. Though he only existed because according to Gaius, Merlyn was still recognizable at eighty years old.

Going through all her adventures took all morning and by lunch her throat was sore from all her talking. Everyone else was silent from the enormity of everything she’d done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not thrilled about the ending so I might go back and edit eventually, but I've got the next couple bits sort of planned out. There's going to be an event or two after the aftermath of the conversation and then the Sword in the Stone episodes. But since it's Nanowrimo I'm making it my goal to write 50,000 words of Fanfiction since my novel ideas are just that. So I may not be posting until next month but we'll see. I'd like to get this story at least finished by New Years.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed my take on a magic reveal. I am working on writing Arthur's reaction and I hope to have the next chapter up soon.
> 
> I am also willing to take suggestions as to whether I should have Merlyn and Freya friendship, or past Merlyn/Frey turned friendship after his death. The pseudo-poll will be open until I post chapter four or five depending on how I break them up and how for ahead I am with the written version. I initially handwrite everything before posting as it is easier to work on between classes and work that way. 
> 
> See you next chapter.


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